Today is officially the first day of spring! Waking up to snow and ice alongside severe weather warnings for much of the country wasn't what we expected.
This got me thinking about expectations, what we come to expect and how we can feel disappointed when our expectations aren't met. This could be for any of us child or adult.
By nature we are creatures of habit, we like to know what to expect and we grow to expect things from other people too. This week in my practice there have been a lot of discussions with children and adults about expectations. What we expect of others is often wrapped up in our conditioning and our self concept.
What are your expectations of others? Do you expect to be the one being cared for or being the carer? Are you used to being the one in control and making all the decisions? Do you expect to be let down by others? For many of us we base our expectations on how we have been treated in our formative years. If we had a reliable, nurturing and responsible adult caring for us, the chances are we expect good things from people when we are older. We see the good in people and expect good things to happen.
On the other hand if we have not received consistent care, nuture and understanding we may have developed a sense of expecting to be let down, expecting bad things to happen and becoming self reliant. This can be a source of constant disapointment leading to anxiety and depression alongside a poor self concept. It doesn't always need to remain this way, with help and understanding we can change how we relate, how we self protect and most importantly how we think about our own self worth.
We are all deserving of care, respect and nurture. If you haven't received this from others then we need to find ways to offer that to ourselves. Allow people to help you, don't always be the carer and helper, allow yourself too be helped too.
Whilst the snow is unexpected and certainly not spring like, I encourage you to embrace what is, allow your inner child to come out and throw a snow ball or two....we cant change what is, but we can change how we look at it.