Please don’t Ghost your therapist: why it matters more than you think
Therapy can be life-changing—and sometimes, it can feel uncomfortable, vulnerable, or even overwhelming. When emotions get big or things feel hard to talk about, it’s understandable to want to pull back. You might feel the urge to cancel your sessions…or simply stop replying altogether.
But ghosting your therapist—disappearing without a word—can actually leave you feeling more alone and unresolved, and it can impact your therapeutic relationship in ways you might not expect.
Below, we’ll explore why it happens, why it matters, and why your therapist truly cares about you.
Why People Ghost Their Therapist
It’s more common than you might think. People “ghost” (stop showing up or responding) for many reasons:
Shame or embarrassment about something they shared
Fear of judgment, even when the therapist has been warm and accepting
Feeling like therapy isn’t working fast enough
Financial worries, making it easier to just avoid the conversation
Conflict or disagreement with the therapist
Struggles with commitment—especially if you’re working on issues around trust or attachment
No matter the reason, you are not the only one who has ever wanted to disappear from therapy.
Why It Matters to Say Goodbye (or Just Be Honest)
When you ghost, you leave important things unspoken. You miss out on opportunities to:
Process difficult feelings (like disappointment, frustration, or fear)
Experience healthy closure if you truly want to stop therapy
Practice direct communication, a skill that often relates to why you started therapy in the first place
Preserve a positive, respectful connection, even if you decide to pause or end sessions
Therapists are trained to handle endings and ruptures. It won’t shock or upset them if you say, “I don’t think this is working for me,” or, “I need a break.” That conversation, as uncomfortable as it may feel, can be healing in itself.
Your Therapist Cares About You
Therapists spend time, energy, and emotional investment getting to know you—not just your challenges, but also your strengths, hopes, and progress.
When you disappear without a word, your therapist often worries:
Are you okay?
Did something happen to hurt you?
Did I do something that made you feel uncomfortable?
While they are professionals who understand boundaries, therapists are also humans who care deeply about their clients. They don’t want you to feel abandoned, ashamed, or alone.
What to Do Instead of Ghosting
If you’re thinking about ghosting, consider one of these steps instead:
Send a short message: “I need to pause therapy right now. Thank you for everything.”
Bring up your concerns in your next session: “I’m thinking about stopping, and I’m not sure how to talk about it.”
Request a phone call instead of an in-person goodbye if that feels easier.
Ask for a referral if you’d like to see someone new.
It doesn’t have to be perfect. It just needs to be honest.
In Closing
Therapy is a brave investment in yourself. If you feel the urge to ghost, please remember: you matter, your feelings matter, and your therapist genuinely wants what’s best for you. Even if you choose to end therapy, you deserve the chance to be heard and to leave on your own terms.
If you’re unsure how to start that conversation, you can simply say:
“This is hard for me to say, but I’m thinking about stopping therapy, and I don’t want to just disappear.”
That one sentence can open a door to clarity, support, and closure. And you deserve nothing less.